Growing Pains

The Journey

My  21 year old daughter is gearing up for a move across the country in a little over a week to live with a friend and her parents.  I'm at odds with this. On one hand I'm excited for her. She needs to be on her own, living life, and having a myriad of new experiences. I'm reminded of myself at that time.

On the other hand, I'm an emotional and slightly fearful parent. Okay I confess, a really fearful parent. I want to call everyone and make sure safety measures are in place at every stop in her journey. Maybe if I text NSA keywords to her cell phone she might have extra eyes watching over her.  Sure she moved out of my house a year ago, but she lived locally. 

My baby is leaving home-really leaving home. 

I was talking with a neighbor who also has a similar situation with her daughters. (large age gap) Her older daughter moved away to college and decided to stay there for the summer and work and won't be coming home, so we are effectively in the same parental boat. The issue we are both facing is trying not to assault the younger ones with maternal suffocation.

How do you let go?     

While I am worried I am also excited for her. I remembered my first solo journey at 11 from California to visit my aunt and uncle in Oregon via Greyhound. It was one of the best trips of my life and the pivotal moment when I realized a gypsy lived inside of me.  I met a real live hippie. It was most awesome. He was worried about me being on the bus by myself. That's a story for another time. (I sure seem to have a lot of those.)

Checked in and ready to go!

Looking back- I am now writing this a week after she left.

 I can honestly say that the anticipation was worse than the actual leaving.  I waited for the tears that everyone said would inevitably fall as she finished packing. When we drove in to Spokane to the bus station. When we drove home.  The first few days after she was gone. They didn't come. 

Don't get me wrong, my heart tugged and I knew I would miss her. And I do.

We made it to the bus station in plenty of time and she got checked in. With a stroke of luck her dad and his girlfriend made it down to see her off. (This was most epic for Lynn)  He got teary a few times but recognized she was grown up and this step is much needed for her.

Last hugs with dad

As she walked out to the bus I felt a sense of pride and excitement.  In one moment it hit me: 

My girl is a grown woman.

Mariah on the other hand had a rougher time of it.  She had many tears and was a bit inconsolable watching sister get on the bus. She's doing much better now.

Putting on a brave face.

The great thing about the time we live in is the advantage of social media.  She texted and messaged me along her journey and she had a great one!  She got lucky and had the new buses that have wi-fi. She shared the people she met, the things she thought and her excitement was contagious.

Of course the first bus stop she had was down the road from our house.  So we raced behind the bus and went across the street from her stop to get ice cream. I went stealth and snapped a pic and texted it to her.  Really. I even posted a pic of it somewhere but I can't find it....

I find myself having moments wondering if the shoe will drop and I will break down

in epic fashion.  I think it would be much different if I didn't speak with her daily or have such an open line of communication. She's even Skyped with Mariah twice and that's been a very good thing.

Lynn (who prefers to go by Jae) is already sharing how she's quickly making new friends and doing what she needs to do to get settled.  I'm looking forward to watching her take these steps in a life that is truly her own.

I just hope she remembers that as her mom I will randomly state motherly things. It's part of the job. We decided to say 'See you later' instead of 'Goodbye.' 

Namaste, my girl.                                

My and my Ladybug

Summertime Blues

If you are a parent you can relate to most of these, especially if you have an uber creative child who sees the world differently.  This is a basic synopsis of my daily routine. Every. Day. I would like to note that there is usually a 10-20 minute gap between the first statement/question and the response.

Mom, I made you breakfast.

What do you mean, broccoli and carrots with mustard aren't breakfast foods?

Mom, I'm bored.

I don't want to go the store and get a treat, I'm busy.

Mom, will you take me swimming?

 There's nobody here to swim with,  I want to go home.

Mom can I have a sleep over?

They are all stupid and we won't ever be friends again.

Mom, there's nothing to do.

But I don't want to play with my friends, ride my bike, play the computer, go swimming, watch TV, play the PS/2, or have a picnic.

Mom there's nothing to eat.

But I don't want a sandwich, fruit, veggies, milk, crackers, cereal, or a TV dinner.

Mom can I make an experiment in the kitchen?                  

But mom,  if I mix jelly and honey and lemon juice and ketchup I can dip my apples in it and I will eat it all.

Mom, I made and experiment, come and see.

Isn't it neat how I mixed the flower petals and fresh herbs with honey and vinegar? (in the tiny vase that no brush will ever reach)

Mom, I have found a moth for the bug house.

It loves me and is my best friend.

                          Mom, the moth died so now I have a roly-poly the bug house.

                           It loves me and is my best friend

  

                                                   Mom I need to get a lady bug for the bug house.

                                                   It will be best friends with the roly-poly

Mom, you promised to take me swimming.

I don't want to go swimming. I'm bored.

 

                                                                      Mom, can I play on the computer?

                                                                       I want to go swimming. I'm bored.

Mom, can I play the PS/2?

But I want to watch Netflix

Mom, watch me beat the (random bad guy). It will only take a second.

Watch every level I've completed to get to this point first.

 Mom, can we team up and play the computer game?

I want to play by myself.

Mom,  I don't want to go to my room.

I'm not coming out, I'm playing.

Mom, I don't want to go and help you water the garden.

I don't want to leave. I want to stay here and harvest my strawberries.

Parental summer survival is a tricky thing. It requires the patience of a Zen master, the ingenuity of a rocket scientist, the stamina of a triathlon competitor, and the communication skills of a hostage negotiator.

The aliens are no longer held in check by the threat of the education system and are free to roam for three months.  They are happy to control children's bodies and wreak havoc within a family unit. Or anyone in close proximity.  In multiple dimensions.

How does one survive this onslaught? It varies from family to family, but in my house it generally requires quick thinking, great patience, and the most valuable words known to parents:

Go Play 

To Mariah's credit she only had one major meltdown during our vacation and only one or two various meltdowns over the summer so far.  

I don't know whether to be relieved or to start battening down the hatches and up my renters insurance for the possible random emotional storm that may or may not happen.  

Kaley has taken up refuge in her room for the most part and is prepared for an extended siege.

In other news, I'm gearing for a day trip, possibly an overnight if I can work it into the budget. I've decided to plan specifically to include Mariah since she is starting to show some real interest in my extra camera. Of course her pictures aren't always what you'd expect and she prefers video to still shots. Many of her videos cause motion sickness, but being the good parent I am, watch every single one. 

Funds aren't necessarily abundant in my universe so I'm also finding things around town to do. There is a new park/splash pad right next to the library which is absolutely brilliant.

I will do my best to navigate the summer waters and come out unscathed, and relati---

Hey Mom, guess what I just made for my new neighbors? It's really cool! I took rocks and made them a mini fire pit on the sidewalk. It only took ten minutes. They really like it and said it made their day.

God help me.

Until next time,

Robyn  

When Can I Go Again?

I thought it would be a great time to post today. 

This weekend is filled with events around the local area which have driving me to seek refuge in my own home. We have Hoop Fest in Spokane, which touts itself as the world's largest 3-on-3 basketball tournament. This year over 27,000 players are signed up with another 250,000 expected spectators. 450 courts. The entire downtown district is shut down.   

Tomorrow we have Iron Man here in Coeur d'Alene.  That will be a day long event as well and downtown is already overflowing.  I used to live on the course and am so glad I don't now.  It was fun to watch once but....

I really enjoyed blogging over my vacation and have decided to try and blog regularly-maybe not daily because my life is actually pretty boring, but a couple times a week because I'm sure I can eek out five hundred words here and there about something in that time period.

So I've had a couple of days to relax and unwind and believe it or not, I'm ready to go again! 

 Granted, it's nice to have the familiarity of home but I'm also quickly reminded of why I wanted to get away in the first place.  Everything  I left is still here now that I'm home. Laundry. Litter boxes. Many other things that begin with the letter "L."

Feel free to insert an epic face palm at any time. 

Time to toss on some music-I think I will blog to Daughtry today.

I find myself really restless, and it's honestly unexpected.  It couldn't be that Mariah immediately reverted to the child that I suspect has an alien living inside of her.  It could be the fact that one of my cats  (Caspian) is now plotting my demise because I dared show affection for a feral cat-you know, the one I've taken care of for four years.

 I don't see what the big deal is-she actually wanted to come inside for once and Kaley and I let her in on different nights-only for ten minutes, mind you.   You would have thought that we had tortured, abandoned, and tossed him away like a used tissue the way he responded. Just because Jude decided to play with Caspian's catnip toy he repaid Jude's visit by promptly peeing in  one of the bathtubs. I can't leave out the mournful meowing and pouting. 

I had planned to take a lot of pictures while on this trip but due to some unexpected circumstances I focused on simply visiting and spending some quality one on one with Mariah and my relatives.

Speaking of photography, Art Wolfe ("Art Wolfe's Travels to the Edge" on PBS),  whose work is amazing, is offering a FREE online day course on July 18th and I was able to sign up before it was filled-I admire his nature landscapes so much. I am over-the-top thrilled that I am going to be able to participate. I'm sure I will take a bajillion notes.

Being the paranoid individual I can occasionally be, I will make sure I have a couple of computer backups in case any of mine decide to give me grief. If you are interested in learning more about who he is and what he does, or maybe even sign up to take the course, go here.  

I am in the planning stages of a short camping trip and am probably going back to Montana.  I really want to get back to the Ross Creek Cedars area-the one that was too iced-over to get to last March.  I did a bit of research and there is a really neat interpretive trail I'd like to shoot.

I've selected a couple of favorite ocean wave shots to share with you. The focus I had this year was the reflective quality of the waves and the spray that crested them from the wind. I've decided to print a couple out and send them to my parents and aunt & uncle as a thank you for such a nice time.

I'm ready to go and truly relax and enjoy the woods.  The smell of a campfire. Watching marshmallows burn and morph into science fiction creatures. The damp morning dew. Sunscreen. Bug repellent. The sound of my flyswatter, which will joyously be destroying the mosquitoes that will not be able to resist me. A flyswatter battle might even break out between Kaley and I.

 You just never know.

 I will be checking with the Forest Service over there before I decided on where to camp.  I'm down for a lot of things, but bears in camp isn't one of them. I'm thinking the area around the Yaak River or Bull Lake. I'm even considering going back to the Kootenai River Campground.  

One of the things at the top of my list is to see if I can find the amazing wood carver I blogged about on my last camping trip over there. This time I plan to buy some of his work if my mission is successful. 

I'd like find out what his story is-I just know it would be amazing. Who knows-maybe he will let me interview him. I shall keep you updated on this upcoming trip that is supposed to be simple and will probably end up being carried out like an international coup.

Until next time,

Robyn

Day Eleven: The End Is Near

I was so tired last night! 

Weary lay-on-the-bed-to-tired-to-move tired. I even skipped the blog.  I did save enough energy to take Mariah swimming one last time. She finally saw another human being at the pool!  And of course it was an elementary school librarian (Mariah's favorite thing) who just happened to have grown up in Coeur d'Alene.

Vista Point on Hwy 30 overlooking the Columbia Gorge

 I decided to wait until this morning to pack.  I  let Mariah sleep in a bit so I could get the sorting and packing done without any interference.  I finally woke her up and  was totally unprepared for the complete meltdown that began before her eyes were even open all the way.  Not totally unexpected, but the timing was just not....

Forty-five minutes later all was back on track. Mariah went to turn the key in and I overheard her having quite the conversation..inviting the desk gal to come and visit us in Idaho...on our couch...

Hwy 30

We made good time through Portland.  I took the exit that led to Historic Highway 30-the one that has all the waterfalls.   It was a nice drive and I did get a few shots of a couple of them. It was honestly a bit disappointing at a few of them.  They were very overcrowded and the parking was so bad  you could barely navigate getting through the little lots. 

On the bright side, I loved the shots I got and the drive was still very pretty. I like to take my time when I drive on roads like that so I regularly pulled over so cars could pass me.  It was a bit tricky passing the bicyclists on the narrow roads, but it added an element of excitement to the whole thing.

So gorgeous

We arrived in The Dalles mid-afternoon and grabbed some lunch.  Went and got all checked in to our motel without any fuss.  Mariah was chomping at the bit to go swimming but I made her a deal that I had to kill my headache first.

Headache down to a dull roar, I took her down to swim and for some odd reason I asked the desk gal if there was anything I needed to know about the pool. Good /bad thing (depending on your view) I asked. The pool is closed today-something about the chlorine level being too low.  Mariah tried to sweet talk her way in, but alas, no success. To her credit, she took it well.

We turned to go back to the elevator and....

Behold: VENDING MACHINES.

Got back to the room and she begged for 'just one thing' from the machines. Knowing The Midget as I do, I knew that 'one' was just the beginning of 'many' so I loaded her up with $5 in change and send her on her way with only a request for a drink for me.

Latourell Falls

She got Skittles, a Payday,  FIVE rolls of Lifesavers mints, a drink for me, and a pack of gum for the desk gal. (really). Of course she forgot to get a drink for herself so we had to add to that.  I can't believe the next words out of her mouth.

"Mom, I'm STARVING."

Um, hello, offspring, you just downed a big meal and finished off my desert three hours ago....

Okay I figured I was in for the night and caved and ordered pizza.  I think Mariah's highlights on this trip are all food related.  As in related to the hotel rooms.

For a list of the waterfalls on this drive go here.

The first leg home is complete.  Looking forward to finally being home tomorrow afternoon. It's been a nice vacation overall and part of me wishes we still had a few days left; the other part of me will be so glad to be done.  Yes, I'm a complicated person-but aren't we all?

Until next time,

Robyn

Day Nine: If Memory Serves

What a beautiful morning to start our day.

My aunt took Mariah and I out for breakfast at a really neat little cafe called Eats and Treats. It was really great and I was surprised to find out that it's a gluten free establishment.  As 'first timers' Mariah and I got a free cookie.  It was the most decadent chocolate chip cookie I've had in a very long time.

On the way up the mountain

It's a place my aunt and uncle frequent after church and it was so neat so see so many people come up and say hello to me-they'd been telling everyone we were coming and it was so sweet to see just how much they were looking forward to it.   The owner's wife even stopped over to introduce herself.  It was a great start to our day!

Wild Sweet Pea

I should probably start out by saying that the last time we visited these places was around eighteen years ago.  So we were going from memory only-no maps.  It's more fun that way in my book-at least for short distances.

We found the cemetery I was originally going to visit within  fifteen minutes. It was nice, mind you, but had nothing on the cemetery we visited the other day.  We drove through it and enjoyed the time we were there, but it was not what I'd expected-as memories often are when matched up with reality.

Alsea Falls

We headed on out toward the main destination of our day's journey: Alsea Falls.   When we went so many years ago it was really late in the day so we'd not gone down to the falls themselves. We just walked to a quick overlook and my aunt had snapped a picture and then we left.

I had a momentary internal struggle with which lens to take (I didn't want to haul the whole bag down) an decided that my short basic lens would be sufficient. It was a short hike and a bit more difficult that I'd thought it would be, but I hung in there and made my way down.

Like mother like daughter

It was worth it. The falls were smaller than I remembered but you were able to get right up to them.  I took several shots that I hope turn out well-I won't know until I get them home and under editing scrutiny-and have shared a few here. 

We spent some time by the falls and made our way back to the car.  I wanted to take our time going back so we got started and along the way decided to make a random visit to a wildlife refuge. Mariah was happy they had a gift shop! I got her a couple of things and my aunt bought me a really neat pair of earrings and some epic butterfly socks. (don't judge).  They had some really interesting literature so I grabbed some of that as well. 

My awesome earrings

It was really warm by then and we enjoyed cruising with the windows down and the wind in our hair.  Of course I ended up looking like I had stuck my fingers in a light socket, but hey, I claim my old lady hair with pride.  At least I still have hair to frizz.

We ended up dropping my aunt off and  headed back to the hotel so Mariah could swim.  She's not feeling so hot-my guess is that the heat, too much chlorine in the hotel pool, and too much root beer are to blame. We just watched The Wolverine and I've got her tucked in to bed.

I love the pattern of this newly-mown field.

Tomorrow's plans are to simply spend some time with my aunt and uncle.  Mariah wants to go hang out with their neighbor and chill in his patrol car because it looks so cool (he's a sheriff's deputy).

I can't believe it's almost time to start our journey home! We've really enjoyed this trip, but I am kind of looking forward to getting home as well. After all, I have a camping trip to plan.

Until next time,

Robyn

Day Eight: Into The Past

It was a great day today. We started out heading toward Brownsville and stopped in at a local pioneer cemetery. It was on the small side and was one of the most peaceful places I've seen.  The sound of the wind in the trees and the general atmosphere would be inviting as a final resting place.

Peaceful resting place

The headstones ranged from the early 1800's to current day. Was really interesting to see the old mixed with the new. Some were so beautifully crafted to last 100+ years.

Gorgeous headstone

After the cemetery my aunt had to show me this house; while it's a newer one, it's very out of place and in the middle of nowhere. It looks like it would be better suited for the English countryside.  Still an interesting house.

Very interesting house

We stopped in my other regular haunt down here-the Living Rock Museum. It was built by a local resident by hand and is completely constructed with rocks (and cement of course) and was built as a museum for local geology.  We picked up a few more rocks for our rock collections, but nothing too big.

We made our way on to Brownsville and had lunch at a great little place.  There was  a local pioneer days celebration with live music, a horse drawn wagon with people dressed in vintage clothing, and  a local art show.

Abandoned church in Shedd, OR

I chatted with one of the artists about the interesting angle she painted from.  You all tease me about putting myself in odd places to catch a shot...this lady stood in a river and painted to get her result. We enthusiastically agreed that creative license is crucial to any art project. 

Great place for lunch in Brownsville

Mariah was in seventh heaven the whole day. The only downside was that we had planned to go to the local park and swim in the creek, in fact I had promised Mariah we would go. She was so patient. Sadly this town celebration had the park so packed we could barely drive through and there was no parking to be had.  She was very disappointed but we will try going back on Monday when it's all over so that I will be able to fulfill that promise.

Brownsville

We made it back to my aunt's house and had a nice quick visit with my uncle. I wasn't really hungry but he wanted to make me dinner so bad.  I let him make a quick small dinner for me and it was really yummy. 

Mariah was getting bored and begging me to take  her swimming so after making epic plans for tomorrow's adventure said my goodbyes and made our way back to the hotel.  Made a run to the local Fred Meyer and saw free reserved charging spaces for electric cars. Very cool.  

Downtown Brownsville

Also of note: Corvallis businesses do not have plastic grocery bags.  You either bring your own or get charged 5 cents per paper bag.  My aunt gave me an awesome giant pink bag with parrots on it and I used it with pride at the checkout.  I (I occasionally collect bird-themed items). I needed to grab us some healthy snacks-mini veggie/fruit trays, etc. to help keep us on track food wise.

At the art show

Got back to the hotel and got everything inside. Then I realized I'd locked my keys in my car. So glad that I keep a spare out of the car.  Took Mariah swimming but it didn't last very long-we are both really tired tonight.  Tomorrow's trip will be to Alsea Falls. It's a couple hours each way and should have some great photo ops.  My aunt wants to take us to breakfast and we are looking forward to it. 

I will leave you now as Mariah has asked to curl up with me and watch Finding Nemo on TV. The only thing missing is a bottle opener to open the single bottle of cider staring me in the face.  I think I've earned it today and will make my way to the front desk for assistance. 

Until next time,

Robyn