If you are a parent you can relate to most of these,
especially if you have an uber creative child who sees the world differently. This is a basic synopsis of my daily routine. Every.
Day. I would like to note that there is usually a 10-20 minute gap between the
first statement/question and the response.
Mom,
I made you breakfast.
What
do you mean, broccoli and carrots with mustard aren't breakfast foods?
Mom,
I'm bored.
I
don't want to go the store and get a treat, I'm busy.
Mom, will you take me swimming?
There's
nobody here to swim with, I want to go home.
Mom
can I have a sleep over?
They
are all stupid and we won't ever be friends again.
Mom,
there's nothing to do.
But I don't want to play with my friends, ride my bike, play the computer, go
swimming, watch TV, play the PS/2, or have a picnic.
Mom
there's nothing to eat.
But
I don't want a sandwich, fruit, veggies, milk, crackers, cereal, or a TV
dinner.
Mom
can I make an experiment in the kitchen?
But
mom, if I mix jelly and honey and lemon
juice and ketchup I can dip my apples in it and I will eat it all.
Mom,
I made and experiment, come and see.
Isn't
it neat how I mixed the flower petals and fresh herbs with honey and vinegar?
(in the tiny vase that no brush will ever reach)
Mom,
I have found a moth for the bug house.
It
loves me and is my best friend.
Mom,
the moth died so now I have a roly-poly the bug house.
It
loves me and is my best friend
Mom
I need to get a lady bug for the bug house.
It
will be best friends with the roly-poly
Mom,
you promised to take me swimming.
I
don't want to go swimming. I'm bored.
Mom,
can I play on the computer?
I
want to go swimming. I'm bored.
Mom,
can I play the PS/2?
But
I want to watch Netflix
Mom,
watch me beat the (random bad guy). It will only take a second.
Watch
every level I've completed to get to this point first.
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Mom, can we team up and play the computer game?
I want to play by myself.
Mom, I don't want to go to my room.
I'm
not coming out, I'm playing.
Mom,
I don't want to go and help you water the garden.
I
don't want to leave. I want to stay here and harvest my strawberries.
Parental
summer survival is a tricky thing. It requires the patience of a Zen master,
the ingenuity of a rocket scientist, the stamina of a triathlon competitor, and
the communication skills of a hostage negotiator.
The
aliens are no longer held in check by the threat of the education system and
are free to roam for three months. They
are happy to control children's bodies and wreak havoc within a family unit. Or
anyone in close proximity. In multiple dimensions.
How
does one survive this onslaught? It varies from family to family, but in my
house it generally requires quick thinking, great patience, and the most valuable
words known to parents:
Go
Play
To
Mariah's credit she only had one major meltdown during our vacation and only
one or two various meltdowns over the summer so far.
I don't know whether to be relieved or to
start battening down the hatches and up my renters insurance for the possible
random emotional storm that may or may not happen.
In
other news, I'm gearing for a day trip, possibly an overnight if I can work it into the budget. I've decided
to plan specifically to include Mariah since she is starting to show some real
interest in my extra camera. Of course her pictures aren't always what you'd expect and she prefers video to still shots. Many of her videos cause motion sickness, but being the good parent I am, watch every single one.
Funds
aren't necessarily abundant in my universe so I'm also finding things around
town to do. There is a new park/splash pad right next to the library which is
absolutely brilliant.
I
will do my best to navigate the summer waters and come out unscathed, and
relati---
Hey
Mom, guess what I just made for my new neighbors? It's really cool! I took
rocks and made them a mini fire pit on the sidewalk. It only took ten minutes. They
really like it and said it made their day.
God
help me.
Until next time,
Robyn
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