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| The Journey |
My 21 year old daughter is gearing up for a move across the
country in a little over a week to live with a friend and her parents. I'm at odds with this. On one hand I'm
excited for her. She needs to be on her own, living life, and having a myriad
of new experiences. I'm reminded of myself at that time.
On
the other hand, I'm an emotional and slightly fearful parent. Okay I confess, a
really fearful parent. I want to call everyone and make sure safety measures
are in place at every stop in her journey. Maybe if I text NSA keywords to her
cell phone she might have extra eyes watching over her.
My baby is leaving
home-really leaving home.
I
was talking with a neighbor who also has a similar situation with her
daughters. (large age gap) Her older daughter moved away to college and decided
to stay there for the summer and work and won't be coming home, so we are
effectively in the same parental boat. The issue we are both facing is trying
not to assault the younger ones with maternal suffocation.
How
do you let go?
While
I am worried I am also excited for her. I remembered my first solo journey at
11 from California to visit my aunt and uncle in Oregon via Greyhound. It was
one of the best trips of my life and the pivotal moment when I realized a gypsy
lived inside of me. I met a real live
hippie. It was most awesome. He was worried about me being on the bus by
myself. That's a story for another time. (I sure seem to have a lot of those.)
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| Checked in and ready to go! |
Looking
back- I
am now writing this a week after she left.
I can honestly say that the anticipation was
worse than the actual leaving. I waited
for the tears that everyone said would inevitably fall as she finished packing.
When we drove in to Spokane to the bus station. When we drove home. The first few days after she was gone. They
didn't come.
Don't
get me wrong, my heart tugged and I knew I would miss her. And I do.
We
made it to the bus station in plenty of time and she got checked in. With a stroke
of luck her dad and his girlfriend made it down to see her off. (This was most
epic for Lynn) He got teary a few times
but recognized she was grown up and this step is much needed for her.
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| Last hugs with dad |
As
she walked out to the bus I felt a sense of pride and
excitement. In one moment it hit
me:
My
girl is a grown woman.
Mariah
on the other hand had a rougher time of it.
She had many tears and was a bit inconsolable watching sister get on the
bus. She's doing much better now.
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| Putting on a brave face. |
The
great thing about the time we live in is the advantage of social media. She texted and messaged me along her journey
and she had a great one! She got lucky and had the new buses that have wi-fi. She shared the
people she met, the things she thought and her excitement was contagious.
Of
course the first bus stop she had was down the road from our house. So we raced behind the bus and went across
the street from her stop to get ice cream. I went stealth and snapped a pic and
texted it to her. Really. I even posted a pic of it somewhere but I can't find it....
I
find myself having moments wondering if the shoe will drop and I will break
down
in
epic fashion. I think it would be much
different if I didn't speak with her daily or have such an open line of
communication. She's even Skyped with Mariah twice and that's been a very good
thing.
Lynn
(who prefers to go by Jae) is already sharing how she's quickly making new
friends and doing what she needs to do to get settled. I'm looking forward to watching her take
these steps in a life that is truly her own.
I
just hope she remembers that as her mom I will randomly state motherly things.
It's part of the job. We decided to say 'See you later' instead of 'Goodbye.'
Namaste,
my girl.
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| My and my Ladybug |
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