There And Back Again

Let's begin with the obligatory late August photo: 

And now on to today's episode!

I gave it my best.

The  'serious'  blog.

Let's get real, folks-I mean have you seen me in real life?  

My life isn't pristine and pretty but it's certainly not an apocalypse.

NOTE:  I was looking at the online thesaurus for a fantastic replacement for apocalypse. This was the first thing that showed up so I stopped looking  and settled for it because here we are. 

So I guess it technically could be considered an apocalypse in the overall picture even it is a bit of a stretch. 

My life isn't something that can stay within nice defined boundaries.

I color outside the lines.   I remove mattress tags.  

I occasionally run with scissors. 

I drink milk past the expiration date.  My Christmas tree is still up. 

Yes, I march to the beast of my own drum.

No that's not a typo.  I said beast. 

I will elaborate on that another time. 

My intent was to post meaningful things that provoked thoughts that were philosophical in nature and not the I wonder if she's off her meds kind. 

The funny thing is that I had people message me asking if I was off my meds. Oh the irony....

 I'm more like an eclectic mix of chaospasm mixed in with passion, insanity, and a side of occasional adulting. 

What snapped me back into myself?  

An audio book I was listending to. I randomly checked it out from the online library because the title called to me for some reason. Include the cover shot of a raccoon that looked like it was on an extended mania spree pretty much sealed the deal. 

Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson

Pictured is the author and the book cover

This link will take you to the  free preview of the book. 

 Disclaimer: It is peppered with language but I promise if you can overlook it it's worth it.  

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Furiously_Happy/FS6NBwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

As I have listened to it I got really excited because  I get it. 

I thank those of you who have stuck with my through the growing pains of finding myself back to this blog. 

 For some reason I got it in my head that by writing a 'serious' blog I was going to be a 'better' blogger.  

Well we can all see how that turned out.  

So this is just a quick update to say that I'm back-really back-and we shall continue on forging through this fantastic life of mine filled with nonsense and grit. 

The grit part isn't always fun to share but it's who I am and this is all-in or all-out.

At times we may go to uncomfortable places but they are part of the package. 

I hope you enjoy the ride. :)

Until next time,

-R

As always remember that there are only: 

Time Flies

I hope today finds you all well. I was so tired yesterday that I dozed on the couch most of the morning. It was early afternoon before I had any energy to do anything. I became aware that several things needed to be done around the house. 

Nothing too complicated. Just simple things I'd let pile up or given myself excuses to "get it done later."

I confess I have been a bit stressed as many others are and have ended up not paying attention to my immediate surroundings. My clutter, my self care.

I intended to practice some self care each day. I followed through for a few days but was pulled to other things as my time management has really been lacking the last week or so. 

 I created a small space on my back patio that is filled with several hanging baskets and planters that are in fragrant bloom. I have several varieties of petunias, a couple of mixed planters, and a humongous geranium that the college girls who lived next door abandoned when they moved.

 I have a small wrought iron plant stand that substitutes as a table,  a hummingbird feeder, and led dragonfly lights up as well. I have a camp chair I pull out and I try to sit for a bit a couple times a day.  It's very relaxing and peaceful.

NOTE:  these were taken when I initially got everything set up. It's really filled out and they have grown quit a bit. 

 

I had a completely free day and as I took the time to slow down and really look, I was a bit surprised at just how much I've let things go.  

I had a conversation with the Midget  (who really isn't a Midget anymore but for all intents and purposes in this blog she will be known by that) and we made plans to start by doing a few simple tasks later today. 

I am feeling accomplished that I did complete a few tasks today. 

Small victories! 

It's now 1:40 a.m. Saturday morning as I'm typing this. The Midget has come out twice and told me to go to bed.  She may be ornery a good deal of the time (I blame the teenage alien hormones that have taken over) but at the end of the day she is a very loving daughter. 

She worries about me when I'm up late.  I generally don't sleep much when I'm restless like this. I figured now was as good a time as any to restart this blog. 

One of the other things I've been doing as a form of self care is running a small private Facebook group that I created as my way of combating the chaos of the world.  I started it over a year ago and realized that it would be a great idea to transfer the concept over here.

It's not a participatory group per se but members are welcome to post or respond as they see fit.

I usually start with a good morning, something really silly, a bible verse, something inspirational, a really bad silly animal pun, and close the day off with a goodnight. I have started to toss in a few daily or monthly things as well. 

I will probably do a pared back version of it here.  Something to motivate me to start posting regularly again. I hope you check in once in awhile and let me know how you are doing. 

On to today's topic.....

What is the definition of time? 

According to Webster's Online Dictionary :

Time is a measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: duration

A nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future.

I can say that time is flying.  It seems like March was yesterday and the shutdown began....then schools closed...and here we are entering the final stage of summer.

My dear friends, time is flying! 

Until next time I wish you kindness and health. 

-R

There are :

 

Exercise Fail aka How Richard Simmons Schooled Me

Richard Simmons.

The name evokes everything from the ridiculous to the horrified.

'Sweatin' to the Oldies'1, 2, 3, and 4? I could see how dancing 50's style might be fun once or twice.

'Sweatin' to the Oldies' Disco? You're kidding me right?

And then there is this gem which is kind of amazing:

I'm going to get really personal with you here, so please bear in mind that you may or may not identify with it.

Weight. 

 I am fat-yes, fat.  There, I said it. 

I've been on the heavy side most of my life. You can call it voluptuous, curvy,  large, big girl, or whatever but it doesn't hide the truth.  I am fat. I accept that.

I've had a life-long love affair with food and have slowly gained weight over the years, along with attempting several diets from the well-known to a couple of controversial ones. You know what happened next: lose 10 and gain 13, lose 5 and gain 8, and so on.

My doc once joked that I was the healthiest fat person he's ever seen, at least on the inside.  I have excellent blood sugar, low blood pressure, and my cholesterol is under 200.  The outside is not doing so well; my joints are going, my back has developed issues, I have serious mobility issues, and I have sleep apnea. (I call my bi-pap machine my ball and chain). 

Add to the mix that according to an endocrinologist Mariah, I, and probably Lynn carry the MC4receptor gene aka the "fat" gene.  There is no treatment or cure, just harder work for us ahead. It doesn't excuse anything, but does give me the "so that's why" that explains so much.  A genetic predisposition for obesity. Who knew?

Back to Richard Simmons.

I never made fun of him per se, but I am guilty of chuckling at his oddness-which I posses in spades-and giggling at the people whooping and cheering with him.

I decided it's time to really look at a sensible way to start getting in shape. YouTube has my old workout but I'm not in any condition to attempt it.  'Sweatin' to the Oldies' kept popping up in my searches and I decided to watch a video.  I paid close attention, watching what they did and how the really obese people moving.

The music wasn't that terrible. Disco was a part of my growing up so I can deal; after all I'm sequestered in my living room so no one will see me.  It looked simple enough and I decided to try it today. No big deal.  I got the laptop hooked up to the TV and started the workout.

Thirty seconds in...

I will never make fun of Richard Simmons again. Ever.

I only made it through a third of the workout. I really tried. I ended up jumping to the cool down. And the toning work?  We just won't go there except to say that I managed to get through most of it, making major adjustments.

I'm still very proud of myself.

I also have a greater respect for a man who cared enough about the morbidly obese to create a special workout just for them. It's not about heartbeats per minute or resting rate. It's about sweating. And I did. ( I know, gross.)

Kaley poked her head out from her cave a couple of times and encourage me to keep going. I really appreciated that. She has watched me struggle and knows how much I want to improve my health.  I know I will be sore as heck this evening, but I want to try again tomorrow-I'm determined to do more.

Did you know he's  created special workouts for the physically challenged?  Pretty cool.

I've fought to get out of that poisonous mindset that you have to lose xx pounds quickly.  I struggle with the fact that losing 1-2 pounds a week is the best way for me to do it.  I've had some success but am ready to do more. I've always loved a challenge....

To be honest I'm not sure how much I want to share as I tackle this, but I will probably toss a snippet or two in there now and then. I want to be clear: I DON'T want to be skinny; I want to be healthy. 

For some reason, I felt I was supposed to share this today.

Wish me luck!

Until next time,

Robyn :)

If you want to contact me about today's post,  feel free to do so. I would love to encourage you! All will remain confidential.

I apologize for the inconsistent text size.  I've not quite figured that out yet.  I should probably just get my own domain name and set it up my own way...

Montana Camping 2014: The Voyage Home

I can't believe I forgot the ending!

We got packed up and tore down the tent. Part of it was wet, but Kaley and I took a towel to wipe it down.

"Mom, can I go to the store one last time? I need to say goodbye to my friends."

How could I refuse that?

"Mom, I need some money-I want to buy them a chocolate before we go."

 I did not cave this time.  Zombie virus contained.

We went to check out and I took her picture with one of the employees.  He'd given her a ride from the store to our campsite the night before. Really. The Girl Who Must Shop was quite a hit with the population of the campground, but I think we established that in earlier posts.

A fond farewell

I wanted to check the Falls for any of the artists I'd met the year before and talked Kaley into going. The road construction was still awful but not quite as dusty as the day before.  We pulled in  and I was really happy to see the girl I bought my painted rock from last year. 

I talked to her for a few minutes and it turns out that Robert (the wood carver) was taking several days off that particular week but would be back and would be there through this September. We got to talking about her art and we started talking photography.

She's taken the plunge and her work is being displayed at a local gallery. I'm excited for her. She was focusing on her sketches at the snack shack but just so happened to have one rock leftover from last year. I got it cheap.

She took my information to pass on to Robert, and while I probably won't hear from him, I'm still glad I made that extra stop.

The Child Who Must Shop made her voice known and the zombie virus broke containment.
 "Mom, can I have *insert every item on the menu* please? " 

I did not cave. Take that, zombie. 

"But you got something."

I got a rock-a rock for goodness sake. There is no comparison.

I stood firm and got her back in the care and we were off!  I hope I never experienced the horrific road construction of this trip again.  I will also make sure that I don't schedule a camp out during an unusual heat wave. 

We stopped at the main crossroads and gassed up and got snacks.  And were nearly overcome by gas. As in cows. Cows in a big semi. The smell was so bad you could almost taste it. Really. We got out of there as quickly as we could.  We were heading home and all was golden....

I really need to learn not to say such things....epic road construction. Again. At least it was on paved road, but it was down to tiny lanes and 25 mph for a few miles. UGH.

All did end well.

To recap this adventure:

* Deer poo is gross and stupid.

* Wildflowers make the best fire starters.

* Butterflies are a girl's best friend.

* Pine tree twigs make the best swords.

* The campground store is Mecca.

* Zombies protection is a must.

* Balloons should never, ever go on camping trips.

* No matter how hard you try, a rock or tree root will always find the spot where you sleep.

* If you see deer when pulling up to your campsite, many critters that will cross your path.

* Road construction is the universe's method of revenge.

* Avoid cows at all costs.

I hope you enjoyed the trials and hilarity that took place on this adventure!

Until next time,

Robyn :)

Montana Camping 2014 Day Three

Whaoo!  I got some real sleep last night and I feel great this morning.  

Today's plan is to revisit the Libby Dam. And then....just when I thought the zombie shopping virus had run its course...

Mariah: "Mom can I go to the store?"

Me: "Not again Mariah, this isn't a shopping vacation."

Mariah: "But I want to get something for you."

Me: "I don't want anything."

Mariah: "I will get you a huckleberry chocolate."

Me: "No thanks, kiddo."

Mariah: "Well I will get one for Kaley."

*Kaley says she doesn't want one*

Mariah: "Pleeeaasssee Mom?"

Me: "Mariah knock it off, I told you NO."

Mariah: "But Mom, I have to get some for the store people. They will starve."

O.o

I handed her a buck and sent her on her way.  I'm so weak.

The biggest one-really pretty.  She set it on a flower right after this was taken.

There were hundreds of these little guys flying around.

Mariah has been vigilant about butterfly hunting with varied results.  She handled each one carefully and released them afterwards.  We started packing the car for the days adventure and then Josie showed up to play with her.

Turns out Mariah made friends with yet another critter in camp. Josie is a sweet yellow lab and her owner had promised that Mariah could play with her this morning unbeknownst to me, of course. A good time was had by all.

Josie

Almost as soon as we turned on to the highway was a portable traffic light-turned red.   The sign said 'wait here for pilot car.' Okay. Cool. It will  be like the other road construction we ran into-no big deal.

Famous last words.

We endured a four mile long section of completely scraped down graveled pavement. Dust. Rocks. Dust.  It was AWFUL! Breathing dust has never been a favorite pastime. Visibility was reduced at some points where you could barely see in front of you.  And of course, the big trucks coming the opposite direction threw the bigger rocks onto my windshield; fortunately there was no damage there.

We survived the journey more or less unscathed and made it to my favorite coffee stand. I asked how the winters were and explained I was considering the possibility of moving to Libby one day because I love it so much there.

I asked about the economy and told her that I would probably be interesting in taking on some daycare if I did and she told me I'd make a killing.  It's something to consider.

Then of course, we stopped in at the store to partake of the deli and bakery. Cravings satiated, we were off to the dam.  

We showed Mariah the new places we discovered on our May trip and she was able to get down and touch some water, which was totally out of the question the last few trips due to high, swift water. The water was low enough that side pools were exposed and totally safe.

Lower side of the dam

The spillway parking lot. (Spillway wasn't flowing)

We hit up the gift shop (big surprise that we ended up there) and I found out that I can schedule a special tour of the dam if I call the day before. I will keep that in mind next year. There was a lot of info on things to do around the area and I stocked up.  I guess gold panning is a big deal here-I had no idea, and would love to give it a try.  I even have my own pan.

Back side of the dam-Lake Koocanusa

Got back to camp and Mariah was off visiting within the first 30 seconds. I noticed that  there were balloons displayed at nearly every campsite. Mariah is like her own force of nature-once you've met her and spent any time with her, you will never forget her, or so I'm told.

Saw some deer poo and I pointed it out to Mariah to prove that deer do come through camp and she told me it was gross and stupid. *shrugs*  What can you do?

Beautiful.

She came so close.

As we started to get dinner things out, here came the deer.  She came close and seemed to be completely unfazed by all the commotion going on. Obviously direct human contact wasn't a possibility but she hung out for quite a while. It was pretty cool!

And that's a wrap for day three!

Until next time,

Robyn :)    

Montana Camping 2014 Day Two

Yep, it was a long night. I think I slept a total of  three hours. It will be a simple fix.

On cue Mariah asked to go shopping.  The zombie shopping virus took over.   Must...shop...must...badger...mom...until...she...caves...

I was weak and caved. In my defense it was a really strong zombie virus. The zombie came back with a green bandana that she wore for the rest of the trip.

Note said green bandana

Since I had the brilliant idea of camping during a heat wave we had to go to Libby for ice. As soon as we entered, the sky opened up and the heavens sang. There before us was the Deli To End All Delis.  And the Best. Bakery. Ever.   We came out with a whole bunch more than we'd planned to get (hey, we are on vacation, right?) Let me tell you we savored every bite of that epic yuminess.

I had an apple fritter but I LOVED the ants on watermelon cookies!

We decided to try Ross Creek Cedars this trip since we had been denied by the ice in May.  There was a spot of road construction on the way but not too bad, (Little did I know the construction horror that awaited us later.)

Note: The guy driving the Corvette was very impatient.

We made it up the narrow road with no problems. I have an irrational fear of meeting another car and having to back down the mountain to a pull out-the road is that narrow. The parking lot was busy. I wasn't pleased-yes, I'm selfish that way-especially when it's a place I love so much.

This is one narrow road!

The creeks were low but nice. There is a trail that I started to walk with Kaley and Mariah but I had to stop right after we got started. Talk about embarrassing.  I told them to go on and went back to the car. Took a few shots and sat in the car frustrated.

Mariah playing in one of the creeks.

They came back a few minutes later and told me that there were benches along the way and I decided I NEEDED to do this.  I grabbed my cane and we were off.  It was so worth it.  The trees were amazing; some were hollow and you could climb inside of them. Mariah was afraid at first but climbed in with some encouragement.  She was so proud of herself!

Squeezing in.

She did it!

Took a quick break and met Gracie, a Catahoula leopard dog. She is absolutely gorgeous but a bit shy.  

Gracie

The lighting was strange and I forgot to use my polarizing filter but it wasn't a total fail. I did get a nice panoramic shot of the Cabinet Mountains on our way down.

Cabinet Mountain Range

We went back to camp and I sat in the shade and read a book. I moved the beds around before it got dark and was looking forward to a decent night's sleep.

We had a 'one log' fire that night. Vera ( owner's daughter) brought Mariah twigs for kindling, which she happily accepted.  The fire burned  high so I tossed water on it. I told Mariah that I wasn't interesting in burning the forest down so we would save the wood for another camping trip.

Tiki came over to visit with Mariah and take her nightly walk.

Oh wait-I never told you about Tiki!

Remember when I thought that the deer was a good omen? 

We met Tiki last night before going to bed. She belongs to a couple traveling the country in their ginormous RV from Florida. Her owner walks her nightly on a leash and it was love at first sight for Mariah.  Tiki had a thing for her as well. Tiki is a five month old Main Coon mix and one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. The key would be to keep Mariah from invading their space too much. It turned out to be no problem at all.

Tiki-what a gorgeous girl! Very sweet, too.

Went to bed and sank into blissful oblivion in my nest of blankets....and mocked the tree root that no longer had power over me...and I  mocked the rock that was next to it as well.

Thus ends Day Two.

Until next time,

Robyn :)

P.S. Enjoy a few more photos from the day's adventure!

A small island.

 

I loved the reflection 

 

A tree had been struck by lighting many years ago.  Names are etched all over this log.

Another tree that had been struck by lightning

This was such a peaceful place.