Summertime Blues

If you are a parent you can relate to most of these, especially if you have an uber creative child who sees the world differently.  This is a basic synopsis of my daily routine. Every. Day. I would like to note that there is usually a 10-20 minute gap between the first statement/question and the response.

Mom, I made you breakfast.

What do you mean, broccoli and carrots with mustard aren't breakfast foods?

Mom, I'm bored.

I don't want to go the store and get a treat, I'm busy.

Mom, will you take me swimming?

 There's nobody here to swim with,  I want to go home.

Mom can I have a sleep over?

They are all stupid and we won't ever be friends again.

Mom, there's nothing to do.

But I don't want to play with my friends, ride my bike, play the computer, go swimming, watch TV, play the PS/2, or have a picnic.

Mom there's nothing to eat.

But I don't want a sandwich, fruit, veggies, milk, crackers, cereal, or a TV dinner.

Mom can I make an experiment in the kitchen?                  

But mom,  if I mix jelly and honey and lemon juice and ketchup I can dip my apples in it and I will eat it all.

Mom, I made and experiment, come and see.

Isn't it neat how I mixed the flower petals and fresh herbs with honey and vinegar? (in the tiny vase that no brush will ever reach)

Mom, I have found a moth for the bug house.

It loves me and is my best friend.

                          Mom, the moth died so now I have a roly-poly the bug house.

                           It loves me and is my best friend

  

                                                   Mom I need to get a lady bug for the bug house.

                                                   It will be best friends with the roly-poly

Mom, you promised to take me swimming.

I don't want to go swimming. I'm bored.

 

                                                                      Mom, can I play on the computer?

                                                                       I want to go swimming. I'm bored.

Mom, can I play the PS/2?

But I want to watch Netflix

Mom, watch me beat the (random bad guy). It will only take a second.

Watch every level I've completed to get to this point first.

 Mom, can we team up and play the computer game?

I want to play by myself.

Mom,  I don't want to go to my room.

I'm not coming out, I'm playing.

Mom, I don't want to go and help you water the garden.

I don't want to leave. I want to stay here and harvest my strawberries.

Parental summer survival is a tricky thing. It requires the patience of a Zen master, the ingenuity of a rocket scientist, the stamina of a triathlon competitor, and the communication skills of a hostage negotiator.

The aliens are no longer held in check by the threat of the education system and are free to roam for three months.  They are happy to control children's bodies and wreak havoc within a family unit. Or anyone in close proximity.  In multiple dimensions.

How does one survive this onslaught? It varies from family to family, but in my house it generally requires quick thinking, great patience, and the most valuable words known to parents:

Go Play 

To Mariah's credit she only had one major meltdown during our vacation and only one or two various meltdowns over the summer so far.  

I don't know whether to be relieved or to start battening down the hatches and up my renters insurance for the possible random emotional storm that may or may not happen.  

Kaley has taken up refuge in her room for the most part and is prepared for an extended siege.

In other news, I'm gearing for a day trip, possibly an overnight if I can work it into the budget. I've decided to plan specifically to include Mariah since she is starting to show some real interest in my extra camera. Of course her pictures aren't always what you'd expect and she prefers video to still shots. Many of her videos cause motion sickness, but being the good parent I am, watch every single one. 

Funds aren't necessarily abundant in my universe so I'm also finding things around town to do. There is a new park/splash pad right next to the library which is absolutely brilliant.

I will do my best to navigate the summer waters and come out unscathed, and relati---

Hey Mom, guess what I just made for my new neighbors? It's really cool! I took rocks and made them a mini fire pit on the sidewalk. It only took ten minutes. They really like it and said it made their day.

God help me.

Until next time,

Robyn  

Day Five: Remind Me Why I'm Here?

I got up much earlier today, while Mariah slept like a sloth until late morning.  When I finally managed to awaken said sloth I reminded her today was Depoe Bay day. I'd promised her lunch at our favorite place, the Chowder Bowl, and the opportunity to get knick-knacks and/or trinkets for friends. The mention of food and shopping got her moving in good order.

I decided that Mariah was going to be in charge of photographic adventures today. I forgot she prefers to video everything so I've included two of her better videos (the ones that cause the least amount of motion sickness)  I hope you enjoy her narrative.

Lunch was great, and trinket shopping was fun.

Spoterina in her traveling digs

On a side note, Spoterina still lives and is quite healthy-who knew?  She takes better care of that ladybug than her cat.  Spoterina will become legend as the first ladybug in history to take a family vacation if she lives the rest of the trip. My mom told me Spoterina needs a roommate to keep her company.  Mariah wholeheartedly agrees.

My parents are leaving a day early to get a jump on the weekend traffic and I am sorry to see them go.  I really got attached to their dogs in a big way and vice-verse (they were really surprised at how their creatures took to me, but hey, it's ME). It's harder for them to take long trips these days.

The weather was actually pretty chilly this morning  but ended up being one of the nicest days yet.  Took Mariah to the pool again-repeat-and watching Frozen as we speak.

I haven't made the big trek down to the beach here due to all the steps.  (Three sets of multilevel stairs). I'm thinking tomorrow might be the day because I can come back up and sprawl on the living room floor with no shame when I'm done since it will just be us.

I had to take a couple of Depoe Bay

I brought my ocean kite down and really want to teach Mariah how to fly it-the rock hunting looks pretty good too.   I gave my mom the giant agate and she packed it before I could take a pic-you will just have to trust me on this one.   I will take a pic when I get home of the sandstone fossil I found. (sandstone with lots of shell in it).

The artist at work

I've promised Mariah that she can 'camp out' in the living room tomorrow night and she's pretty excited.  I just made it clear that we have to clean it up  before you go. She's ready to plan a picnic and everything.  This might just get interesting!

Ah, Day Five-When the newness has worn off and your child starts acting normal again. Oy.
I've dealt with her attitude on and off today.  She's really been trying to work the Grandma angle; however, Grandma just happens to side with me.  I really appreciate it too, because those of you who know Mariah just know....   (You will be happy to know that I am standing my ground).

Tonight's Sunset view

The sun is sinking into the horizon as I type this and I'm already waxing nostalgic as this part of our journey  is coming to an end. It's been a really nice, albeit shorter than normal, trip. It was nice getting reacquainted with my dad despite the awkwardness.  It's okay to let the past be the past as long as I don't allow it to mess with my present and/or future. The time with my Mom has been epic and awesome as usual.  I will admit again that it's hard to see them getting older.

No major disasters or family drama occurred (not counting Mariah) and for that I am very thankful. I think they have realized that I am always going to be me and that it's not a bad thing.  They see that I'm happy and that is what counts.

 I will try to keep blogging daily but as we switch gears and go to the 'Momma' part of the trip (my photo days) I might get a bit distracted.

I will try to keep you entertained as I do so!

Until next time,
Robyn :)

Day Three: Facing The Dragon

Kelp in the surf 

Today was a day of schizophrenic weather.  We had all the Oregon Coast had to offer in one day several times over. 

I've been fighting a raging headache all day. It probably didn't help that I didn't sleep well-there was something wrong with my bed.  I had my dad check it out and we ended up calling maintenance to fix it-turns out that 1/2 the slats on the bed had fallen-I'm lucky I didn't break the thing. Or my neck. I did however suffer the aforementioned headache and associated afflictions.

It's a dog's life

I originally planned to take Mariah down to our favorite beach for the day but the rain and mist diverted us to the swimming pool instead.  I was ready to spend hours watching her splash around but she uttered the three words that strike fear in any parent on vacation.

"Mom, I'm bored."

This ended up leading to a pretty emotional day for her-she misses her friends, her cat, and a pretty endless stream of things that she misses.   The tears flowed freely on and off today. After a  trip to Wal-Mart, lunch at Subway (thanks, Mom), and watching Frozen twice,  all ended up well-as well as it could be in this situation.

Mariah was appeased with an offering of cherries

I ended up admitting defeat over the headache and took some medicine for it-this in itself is grounds for goofiness for me to begin with.  Enter my dad who hands me a Jack and Coke.  I was a pretty happy camper shortly thereafter. 

I took a few assorted photos today-the beach, some water droplets on the railing, the dogs, etc., but nothing has really struck me yet, subject-wise.

A bit of rain

I have to admit I was really looking forward to dinner-my dad made the most amazing food.  He's sure learned to cook up a storm. I rarely eat seafood, but I indulged with great  enthusiasm tonight.  Take the best halibut, bread it and fry it up in a ton of butter, and set it on a pan and smother it with shredded Parmesan and Asiago.  Add some shrimp and top it with more Asiago and Parmesan. Put it in the oven until the cheese melts.  

OMG Seafood Heaven.  And wine.  He poured me a glass of some pretty nifty wine.  I was all kinds of happy.

Mariah ate three pieces sans shrimp.  She told Grandpa that he could cook fish forever for her and she would eat it all-especially if he made her more of his homemade tarter sauce.

After dinner I even had a real almost-conversation with my dad. You never would have guessed it's been so long since we talked.  It's not a rosy rainbow-filled relationship, but being able to have a basic conversation was nice. 

Then I  brought up tattoos. I even told him I was considering getting a small one.

*face palm*

 I actually got a mini lecture. I'm an adult and can do as I please but I swear, it was like I was  five years old for a couple of minutes. Some things never change, lol. We ended up having a laugh over it, but it was a reminder that some things don't change. It's not such a bad thing now that I'm secure in who I am. He went on to tell me that there was nothing on this earth that I could do that would ever surprise him. 

I faced the dragon and came out unscathed.

Peace at the end of the day

I'm hoping to call it a semi early night so I can get some sleep.  Tomorrow I am taking Mariah and my camera to the beach. It should prove to be another interesting day!

Until next time,

Robyn 

Hard Look in the Mirror

"Fear cannot be banished, but it can be calm and without panic; it can be mitigated by reason and evaluation."  -Vannevar Bush

Today’s blog is the start of  some things that are much more personal that what I’ve done before. While I’ve been sharing some deeper glimpses of my life with you, my next few posts will share on a few different topics: all of them pretty rough for me but those of you who already know me, know that it’s also necessary to share as part of my commitment to blog as part of being the real me. Who knows-maybe one of you who reads this can relate.

 

You never know.

Today I’m going to talk about school and this inane thing I created called THE PLAN.

 

aka Worst. Idea. Ever.

 

Up until last year I’d gone to college year round-Fall, Spring, and Summer. I had A PLAN.  I was determined never to waiver from it no matter what natural or manmade disaster befell me. What was THE PLAN? To work straight through my courses and get my bachelor’s as soon as possible. No matter what.  It’s important to have A PLAN for someone like me who often gets distracted when on a task.

 

After all, isn’t creating A PLAN part of being a successful adult and/or late bloomer?

 

Starting in spring of 2007 I began my journey in atypical fashion. No advisor, no entrance counseling. I got myself registered and moving forward, choosing classes I knew I’d excel in to get started.

 

A semester in I realized I needed some direction (who knew?) and met with an advisor who made everything look good on paper but sent me in an absolutely unrealistic direction. This individual meant well-I can be quite convincing when I need to be-especially if something sounds good and I really want it. 

 

A semester later I was approaching meltdown after my first day in basic algebra. A gal took pity on my poor, wretched math soul and offered to help me.

 

Best. Day. Ever.

 Where is this going?  We’re getting there, I promise.

This led to me entering a program with lots of student support, etc.   After changing two majors (one because my head was ready to explode and the other for health issues) I found a good basic and realistic major.

I was set and revamped THE PLAN, much to my dismay but more determined than ever.  Four years later, I graduated with my degree. Feeling the need to compensate for changing THE PLAN I picked up several certificates/enhancements along the way.  I probably should have paid more attention to the fact that I graduated on Friday the 13^th…

I will note that a few of you were in school with me at the time and watched the beginnings of the chaos to come.   

 

I transferred to the next educational institution (Lord help them) and was off on the next leg of this journey. I didn’t want time off because I honestly was afraid I wouldn’t start back up and it would deviate from THE PLAN.

Of course, having Murphy and all his laws living in my back pocket always made things a bit more interesting (I use that term loosely). Summer went as planned and I was more dedicated to THE PLAN than ever.  Then Fall arrived.

With me so far? Good. *takes deep breath*

I have no idea what I was thinking, except that fluffernutting  PLAN that I had to stick to NO MATTER WHAT was nearly my downfall-okay it was my downfall. A total of four back-to-back surgical procedures on my legs/feet later (two minor, two major), and Fall & Spring semesters were complete failures-seriously.  I failed nearly all my classes.  Fall was medication fall out (you have to be able to actually read the text to pass the class). Spring was an even more complete fail. I couldn’t concentrate, etc.   I was crushed. Let the self flagellation commence.

I forced myself to take a year off. Smartest thing I’ve done. After all is said and done, I stopped making excuses and took a long hard look at my educational future and why I had two disastrous semesters.  Last week I finally acknowledged what everyone had been trying to tell me: 

 

I was burned out.                                            Really burned out.  

 

 Like ashes-after-the-phoenix burned out.

                      We are talking cinders, baby.                          

                                                                                                   

If you remember my first post way back when, Fear of Failure has always been an issue with me.  To accept burnout was to accept failure. THE PLAN had crumbled and I was pretty much paralyzed as far as any future education went-what am I if I don’t have A PLAN to go by? I was talking a good talk about going back and even started the process twice but never followed through.

 

 

As of a week ago I know what I AM. A person who overdid it and paid the price. And I’m ready to start the process to get back and finish my bachelors, but more realistically and reasonable. Putting on my really big girlie panties and ready to deal.

The one thing that had been holding me back?  My refusal to accept the reasons behind what happened.  Now that I have accepted that I had epic burnout I’ve giving myself something to stand on, if that makes sense-a starting point if you will.

 

I realistically evaluated things and have started the process. The best thing about it?  I’ve left THE PLAN behind.  It feels really weird without one. Almost a sense of being unbalanced but also liberating.  I’m keeping it really simple and taking it in increments of small goals. I just need to make sure I keep said goals realistic and only set two or three at a time, not adding more until the current are completed.

 

I'm feeling the same excitement I used to at getting the opportunity to learn and move forward.  After all, I'm not a spring chicken anymore-I fall a bit closer to the quacking duck.

 

The coolest thing is that others I’ve shared this with have not gone the ‘we tried to tell you’ route. It’s more like a collective sigh of relief.  They are simply encouraging me and reassuring me that all will be as it should.  That’s been invaluable as I reassess my goals.I can say that my advisor is VERY excited at my current state of mind. She ‘gets me’ and has always had my back.

What I do know is that I would like to continue my education-I'm so close.  After being gone a year I'm not kidding myself-It's going to be hard work and I'm willing to do it.  One of the things it will take is doing as much on campus as possible and less online. 

  

I'm going to download and print off the paper work and will be honest in my explanations and hope the appeal committee approves me. But I’m also prepared for the possibility of denial which I was never open to in the past.  I will take one step at a time and accept what comes, not borrowing trouble.

 

 

 

Sometimes it’s not enough just to look in the mirror. You have to accept what you see staring back at you to move forward.

 

Don't let you become your worst enemy.

 

 

 

Until next time,

Robyn
(Pardon my excessive use of graphics and parentheses today-they seem to fit!)

Today's blog is brought to you by: 

‘Get ThroughThis’ and ‘Raining’ by Art of Dying.

It's the perfect soundtrack for today’s post.